When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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