I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
