I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You were trust falling into bushes
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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