so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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