ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
