Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
