Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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