dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what day is it and did you see me today?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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