weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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