who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
