i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
