So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
