i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
