I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
