Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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