don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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