Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
