You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
