Can i not drive my cunt home
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
