I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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