Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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