id be glad to
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
do nipples grow back?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
