im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
