Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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