i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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