So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
