You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You pole danced in your parka.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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