You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
