I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My balls are so social today.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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