Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this boner is exhausting
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
