I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
