i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
