Kiss
Puke
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need to sanitize my soul.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
