a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
