okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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