words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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