Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
