I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
