When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
false alarm, still single
Randomize
