turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
