god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
