Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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