I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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