ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize