she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
