There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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