I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize