Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
