is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
