he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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