Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
