Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
