I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
