are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
