Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
