Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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