The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
