He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
