Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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