I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
