Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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