Screwed.edu
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
