So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize