Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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